Category Archives: Politics

It’s time for President Badass!

President Obama strikes a boxing stance

Well, Mr. President, you did it. Much to the surprise of your opponent and his backing billionaires, you triumphed.  So now that your second term is secured, I’d like to speak to you on behalf of your liberal voters.

Many of us who voted for you the first time did so with the knowledge that your actions would be constrained by the requirements of your seeking re-election. In other words, we knew better than to expect big things from you during your first term. We figured the payoff would come during the second.

Needless to say, you accomplished a hell of a lot anyway, especially considering the fact of complete Congressional obstruction; for that we are grateful. Now, however, is the time for a change in strategy.

We have seen you reach your hand “across the aisle” to achieve bipartisan consensus, only to have it spat upon by opponents who despise you more than they actually disagree with you. We have seen you embrace their ideas, contrary to the desires of your base, only to have them disavowed by their proponents. We have seen you give ground at the beginning of negotiations, fully expectant of reciprocal concessions which were never forthcoming. It’s time to stop trying to meet them in the middle, because they are far to distant from it.

Do not make the mistake of thinking that the Republicans are suddenly going to become cooperative. They will never do anything that threatens to make you look good.  They hate you.

We know that you are a good man in a difficult time who is sincerely doing his best to do right by his country. We know that your are playing what has always been a white man’s game and are amazed at and proud of your ascent. You make us proud of our country. You more than make up for the embarrassment caused us by your predecessor.

Sir, we require no more convincing. We know that you tried, we know that your opposition is intractable, and now we just want you to go back there and haul out President Badass. It’s time to start dominating.

Please don’t pull my Jewish history out of your Mormon hat, Joseph Smith!

Jewish History Books labeled as Mormon History Books

I recently conducted a two-part interview with my ex-Mormon friend and his wife; you can listen to it in Podcasts 05 and 06. I tried to maintain a scientific and professional distance from the topic in order to be able to evaluate it objectively as an anthropologist.

I stated in the inaugural podcast that I am uncomfortable with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, particularly because it is such a modern religion. I also made clear the fact that I recognize this bias and am actively trying to overcome it. While I find their doctrine to be ridiculous, that is not unique to them. Most religions are ridiculous when their scriptures are taken literally.

Perhaps one day I’ll have an opportunity to interview a practicing Mormon, and I invite that. I want to respect the faith, but please don’t expect me to believe it. In the meantime, the people that I have access to are ex-Mormon and granted, they have their own particular view of things.

I found my interview with Andrew to be extremely enlightening. If you listen to the episodes, you’ll see that I was trying to put my finger on just what it is that disturbs me, but I was fairly unsuccessful. That’s because it took a day or two to settle into my consciousness: The Mormons f*** with my people.

What do I mean? I’m saying that as a Jew, I cannot accept their version of events. It’s one thing for them to claim a history that is markedly different from mine, but it’s quite another when their history rewrites mine. I can think of no other faith whose doctrine modifies the beliefs of another in such a way. They claim, for example, that Native Americans are descended from the ancient Hebrews, who rafted to the New World sometime before the episode at the Tower of Babel – and that was just the first of several Jewish migrations. With one prophetic vision they disrespect the cultural traditions of two peoples – now that’s efficient!

Not content to mess with history alone, the Mormons also make a practice of baptizing Jews after our deaths.  They take the editor’s pen to the future as surely as the past. And it’s not just the Jews, it’s all non-Mormons. That’s why they have the best genealogy records on the web.

Why couldn’t the Mormons keep their history to themselves like everyone else? No, they even had to drag Jesus into it. Poor, uninformed Christians. Don’t they know they’re missing half the story? Sure, their savior returned from the dead, but not to them! They must feel a little left out. Because Jesus, according to Mormon scriptures, was teleported to the New World after his resurrection, where he ministered to the descendants of the Jews, who apparently had forgotten they were Jewish. Then what happened? It slipped their minds that they had become Christians. Oops! Silly Jewish Christian Indians!

Is it just me, or is this not all a little bit insulting? Honestly, that’s the nicest thing I can think of to say about it.

Fear of a Black President

Sarah Palin

Palin accuses president of ‘shuck and jive’ on Libya – Erik Wemple – The Washington Post.

Excuse me, “shuck and jive”? WTF, Sarah Palin? Who uses that kind of language these days? Are your bedsheets doing double duty at KKK rallies?

Let’s just call this the racism that it is: the racism of Sarah Palin’s America.

We heard the McCain-Palin campaign blowing the dog-whistles of racial hatred during the last election, when a huge and ignorant swath of the American public convinced itself that then-Senator Obama was a Kenyan Muslim. We heard it even in the so-called compliments paid him: He was so “articulate” for a – well, you finish the sentence. We hear now it in Newt Gingrich’s characterization of Obama as the “Food Stamp President.” By that logic, we ought to christen Reagan the “Crackhead President.”

The level of hatred directed at this President is unprecedented. I have looked and cannot find any campaign imagery comparable to the 2008 posters of Obama in white-face, Obama as The Joker, Obama as Hitler. I can’t recall anyone putting a Hitler mustache on George W. Bush.*

I have looked and cannot find a previous Congress so specifically dedicated to denying a President a second term, such that it votes against its own ideas to avoid making him look good. Even Bill Clinton had greater cooperation from the opposition.

It’s only been about fifty years since the official end of Jim Crow, when African Americans were fully enfranchised as voters. There are plenty of white folks still around who remember the days of segregation fondly, when they didn’t have to compete with non-whites for jobs or college admissions. There are lots of people who have never worked or socialized with African Americans and who would be happy to keep it that way. They are simply not comfortable with people who are not like themselves. They never have been, going back through the generations. There are plenty of white folks who resent the handouts of welfare without knowing that they are its primary beneficiaries.

When you live in the Northeast or on the West coast of the U.S. – the blue states, yes – you tend to see the world a certain way. Your point of view is inflected by the diversity of the population. You grow up with Americans whose families have come from all over the world, with people of all faiths and colors, and this to you is normal. It’s true, to a large extent, of any port city or point of entry for immigrants; they often remain where they land.

When you live in middle America, however – in the red states, yes – you are more likely to spend your entire life in a small town surrounded by people who are a lot like you. You are rarely exposed to a point of view that differs from your own and when you are, your peer group shoots it down.

If we held an election where the popular vote alone determined the outcome, the result would always skew to the political left. That’s because the great majority of the population lives in cities, which provide employment and transportation and which therefore attract outsiders.  These places are always necessarily more diverse and more progressive. The fact is, we could hold the election exclusively in America’s largest cities and obtain a representative vote.

Rural middle America has too much say. It is numerically over-represented in the Senate (2 Senators per state, regardless of population) so it has disproportionate power over policy. Relative to urban America, rural America is less diverse, less progressive, and less comfortable with the 21st century global culture that city dwellers deal with every day. Rural America has barely come to grips with the 20th century.

Mitt Romney is counting on two types of voters to make him President: People who believe he’ll be a better leader than our current one, and people who will vote for anyone but a black man. I believe there are far more Romney voters in the latter category – and so does Sarah Palin.

* While I have recently been corrected by a reader and directed to some photos of Bush with a Hitler ‘stache (see Comments), I stand confidently by the rest of this essay.

DisLike

thumbs down

I have run afoul of Facebook policy, which forbids the kind of anonymity I seek. It was all well and good until I crossed the line and began promoting the page. This became necessary because it had seven “likes” at the time.

First, I logged into my account and visited related pages, where I posted links back to my page. How many of these do you think it took before they shut me down for spamming? Thirteen. I can understand if I had been one of those commercial guys who pumps out thousands, or even hundreds of ads a day, but thirteen? The bar between self-promotion and self-destruction is set pretty low.

The lockout would have been temporary, I think, if I had not gone the extra mile and tried to buy an ad. In retrospect, it was a stupid thing to do. Everyone knows nobody reads those ads.

Still, it was cheap enough and I was eager to increase my reach. Of course I had to provide a credit card, which would have compromised my identity, so I came up with the not-so-bright idea of using a gift card registered under my pseudonym. That’s when they shut me down.

It took me about four days to realize the lockout wasn’t going to be temporary. I was hoping it would go away. It’s not like they sent me an email that said I had broken the rules and was being kicked out; I simply lost the ability to log into my account. It took a bit of searching for me to finally figure out that I had violated their policies and been booted.

I haven’t decided what I’m going to do about this yet. I’m open to suggestions.

The funny thing is, the site is still up. There are now eleven “likes.”

Hey David Axelrod! Here’s some debate prep for the President.

A Happy President Obama

Mr. President, you need to be clear tonight. When you want to tell the YouTube generation what time it is, you have to say it straight:

You’re a middle class guy with middle class values; you’re one of us. Your opponent was an entitled rich kid who grew up to look down on us. He just plain doesn’t like us.

You believe in helping people who can’t necessarily help themselves. Your opponent couldn’t care less about them. He thinks they’re freeloading scum.

You believe that America should be a place where everyone has access to the same high quality medical care regardless of their circumstances. Your opponent’s math goes like this: BANK ACCOUNT = MEDICAL BUDGET = LIFE SPAN.

You believe that women are equal to men and therefore have a natural right to control their own bodies; your opponent, well, who knows what he believes? But his running mate is in favor of forcing a woman to bear her rapist’s – even her father’s – child. Sort of like an American Taliban.

You are a student of history, a believer in science, and a fan of reality. No one knows what your opponent believes, since he denies ever saying anything.

You believe in the DREAM Act. Your opponent is a NIGHTMARE.

Say it all with the soundtrack from 8 Mile playing in your head.

Support the PATERNAL ACCOUNTABILITY ACT

Paternal Accountability Act logo

WHEREAS, The Roe vs. Wade Supreme Court decision is continually under attack and will likely remain so for the foreseeable future, such that American women are in danger of losing control over their reproductive lives; and

WHEREAS, it is prudent to plan for the eventual overturn of Roe vs. Wade in a manner that suffices should the verdict stand, since the economic impact of bearing and raising a child in the US is typically over $200,000, not including college tuition or major medical expenses; and

WHEREAS, both partners are equally involved in the reproductive act that produces a fertilized human egg which is composed of precisely equal amounts of DNA from each of them, and which of fairness ought to result in equal responsibility between them;

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that the people of this State call for new legislation to hold male parents equally accountable for the economic consequences of their reproductive actions:

A. When a man impregnates a woman under any circumstance, he shall be liable for 50% of any and all expenses incurred as a result of bearing and raising the resulting child, including prenatal care and delivery; food, shelter, clothing, healthcare, education, and recreation; and all other provisions made for the child until age 25 or the completion of a college degree, whichever occurs first.

B. In the event that the male parent does not reside with or contribute economically to the household in which his child lives, his payments will be automatically deducted from any wages or benefits he receives and directly deposited into an account held in trust for the child by the mother or legal guardian.

C. If the male parent is unable to make these payments, he may supplement his contributions with household labor and/or childcare, subject to the expressed approval of the mother or legal guardian.

D. All unpaid debts shall accrue interest at the rate of 10% compounded yearly.

E. There shall be no limitations of time on the debt, which shall be paid through wage garnishment regardless of the age of the child.