My “top surgery” (read: double mastectomy) is in 9 days. My wife, my friends and I, all women aside from – very recently – me, are all sitting around the pool, making plans. The group decides on an outing just a couple of days after my surgery, while I’m still certain to be homebound and some degree of helpless. “Wait a minute,” I say, “that’s right after my surgery. I need someone to keep me company.”
The athletic one among us stares me coldly in the eye and tells me, “Come on, you can handle it. You’re a man now. Deal with it.”
I know she’s (half) joking but it stings, nonetheless. So this is the way it is now? You see me as a man (THANK YOU!) so you’re going to lump me in with all of the other men in your life and however you feel about them. This is not a good feeling. Expectations are rising up like so many pointless, snarky challenges.
Drag King Mo B. Dick, photographed by Del LaGrace Volcano
I’ve been away from here for a very long time. My attention was focused elsewhere. Now that everything is sorted, it’s time to unify these multiple identities I’ve been carrying around into one fully integrated person who is free to be exactly who he is. My voice, this website, and the podcast are coming back loud, strong, and fearless.
No more anonymity. No more secrets. I am L.W. Lucas Hasten, formerly known as Lauren Hasten. I’m an anthropologist, a professor, a writer, a podcaster, a photographer, and an all-around decent human being. I’m also transgendered, and I’m done hiding.
Follow me on Twitter @lwhasten, #theroadtolucas #thetransgenderanthropologist